I am now pausing and considering my future as a writer. I had thought that I finally found a home for my series of Susie and Johnny stories as well as a possible home for my “Kid Inside” Bible stories. I was, however, turned down. Dancing with Bear publishing was not interested in publishing my stories after all.
I was, initially, very disappointed and experienced a strong sense of depression. Experiencing that reaction has caused me to take some time to pause and consider my writing.and my future as a writer.
I realized two things, First, I invested a lot of emotional energy into the possibility of getting these stories published. Secondly, they were early works for my and because I spent a lot of time editing and revising them, I did not spend time doing any new writing.
I am not sure that it is the best use of my time to go back and continuously edit and rewrite older stories. I think that I will just let them be for now except to have them edited professionally to remove technical and grammatical errors. I need to not launch into another series of rewrites.
I have decided not to give up on writing but, I want to work on new things not old things. I have two stories I have been working on. I need to do a completely fresh rewrite of them so that I am not revising old writing but writing new using the old as a form of outline or scratch draft.
I believe that God has gifted me as a writer but, that does not require me to continue to live in the past. The first stories I wrote were written for telling in a classroom setting. They served that function and did it well.
I now have new stories I want to tell. I need to get about the business of doing that work. I pray that, in doing so, I honor God and point others to Him.
It is always a good thing to pause what you are doing and consider if it is what God wants you to do.
I have been trying to think about what basically wrong with my transition from a short story writer to writing a novel. I think it boils down to pace. I don’t yet know how to fit in the scene painting descriptions that a reader needs to begin to inhabit the scene with the characters. Need to work on that. I rush through that too fast.
The Dog Days are not always referring to baseball in August. I think there are dog days in regular life as well. I am going through a period of dog days or at least a period of time where everyday is a struggle. It is hard to get up and get going. I begin to feel tired right away and it seems to just get worse as the day drags on.
I finally gave into the tiredness and fatigue and went to my doctor. She referred me to another doctor who. in turn referred me to another. That one spent a good hour and a half with me and recommended three others to consult.
Well, as you might guess. that process has continued and some suspected issues were confirmed but no one (yet) has determined the source of my tiredness and fatigue.
A byproduct of the tiredness and fatigue was a definite increase in the appearance of Mr. Crankypants in my place. I have grouched at and offended innumerable people that I would much prefer to have treated nicely and with love.
As a result, I offered to give up my speaking position in my beloved Friday night ministry. My position was compromised by my shortness with and snapping at people that did not deserve it. I am ashamed of the way I acted. My offer was accepted by the ministry leader and so…no more Friday nights in Everett. At least not for the foreseeable future. Who knows what God has planned for ministry opportunities.
So, in the midst of these dog days, I have committed to deepening my relationship with God and working on my writing .
I have started out with more scripture reading that is not focused on how do I preach this but with how can I understand this better and apply it to my life. These are things I probably should have focusing on anyway.
I have started the long needed revision of the first section of Kenan and Hagar. I am working to incorporate the notes I took while outlining the story. The outline is not yet finished, but I want to be writing in some more serious way. I started that yesterday and I really enjoyed it.
I begin a series of physical therapy appointments tonight and see my new endocrinologist tomorrow. I hope to get some answers for these issues soon.
Your prayers would be appreciated.