Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan – Part 1

Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan

“Oogie, are you sure this is gonna work? Your last idea landed us in the doghouse for a solid week.”

“Ralphie, we’re dogs, we always sleep in the doghouse.”

“Yeah, but it’s worse when they put you on half rations.”

“Oh Ralphie, forget all that. This is the best plan I had ever had. It is foolproof. It…is…stupendous!”

“No way! Your last plan was foolproof too. I still have bruises from the broom swats.”

“That won’t happen this time. No brooms, no way!”

“Well, all right…but only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“So, how is this plan different? You scare me when you get this excited about one of your plans ‘cause I’m always the one that gets hurt.”

“That won’t happen this time. No way!”

“Ok, you said that already. What is this foolproof plan, Mr. Big Brains?”

“Last time we went after the bacon too soon.”

“Too soon?”

“Yes, too so. We tried to get it from that pan on the stove. We knocked it over, and bacon grease went flying everywhere.”

“Everywhere but our mouths. Most of it landed on the floor.”

“Uh, yeah. So when we did get the bacon, we couldn’t get away with it because of the grease all over the floor too. It was too slippery. We got caught.”

We knocked it over? Let’s get that part straight right now. You knocked it over!”

“Ok, ok, I knocked it over, but you were supposed to grab it and run away with it.”

“Oh yeah, I was just supposed to grab it before it hit the floor. But, it turned out to be impossible with that pan flying straight at me.”

“I suppose my aim could have been a little better.”

“Yeah, and that grease was hot too! I nearly got splattered with it, after I dodged the pan. Then, when I did grab the bacon, I couldn’t get any traction on the floor because of the grease… And then…there was the broom. Ewww! It makes me shiver all over just to think about it.”

“Never mind all that. This time it’s going to be completely different.”

“Ok, maybe. How?”

“I got it all figured out.”

“You do, huh?”

“Yeah, think about it. What happens to the bacon after they cook it?”

“Doh! They eat it!”

“Slow down speedy brain. What happens to it before that?”

“I dunno. They just put it on a plate and eat it. That’s all.”

“That’s right. What happens after they put it on the plate and before they eat it? Think!”

“Hmmm…it sits and cools off while they get the rest of their breakfast ready?”

“Exactly. And we need to get to it while they are distracted with the eggs, toast, juice and coffee.”

“Hey! That’s right! That plan could…wait a minute. How are we going to get it off the plate without being noticed?”

“Heh heh heh! That’s the fun part. We use the cat for a diversion. I’m a genius! That’s what I am, a gen-ee-us!”

“Hold on just a minute, Mister Genius! How are we going to get Lucille to go along with helping us? Her whole mission in life is to make us miserable.”

“That right, and so we play a little trick on her, and she plays right into our plan without even knowing it.”

“Oh, we are huh? And just how will we do that Mr. Genius?”

“Yes, just how were planning on doing that Oogie?” came a feline voice from the kitchen counter above Oogie.

“Huh? Oh hi, Lucille! How is my favorite feline?”

“Don’t even bother trying to be nice to me, Oogie. I know how you feel. I overheard you trying to set me up for the blame on your next bacon caper.”

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