Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan – Part 2

“Say Oogie, you know what? I’m … I’m … gonna head … outside to look for that lost bone. I think it’s in the hydroponics lab,” said Ralphie heading out the pet door.

“Oh, come on Lucille, I was just explaining it to Ralphie in a way he would understand. You know he wasn’t the brightest pup in the litter.”

“Well, neither were you Oogie. So tell me, what’s in this for me if I decide to help you?”

“Uh, Lucille, I hadn’t really thought about that. What would you like?”

“It did occur to me that, in addition to bacon being on the table at breakfast time, they also put a pitcher of cream for their coffee. I’ll provide a distraction for you if you’ll also get that down for me. Do we have a deal?”

“Well, I don’t know …”

“Oogie, all you have to do is knock over the cream pitcher.”

“Um … um … I don’t know …”

“Oogie, all you have to do is knock over the cream pitcher. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Can Ralphie and I get a taste of the cream too?”

“Oh sure, you can grab some to go with the bacon. It’s a little hard to carry.”

“Oh … yeah … Ok, we’ll do it for you. Here’s the plan, first thing tomorrow morning …”

The next morning, Oogie and Ralphie headed to the kitchen just like they did every morning. But, Lucille was nowhere to be seen.

Ralphie looked at Oogie and said, “What do we do if she doesn’t show?”

“We go back to our first plan and just hope we’re fast enough to get away with it …”

“I hope so because that bacon smells really good and it’s makin’ me extra hungry … but …”

“But what?”

“I keep thinking about that broom over there. I got spots that still hurt.”

“Oh look, Ralphie, there she is. It’s showtime as soon as that bacon hits the table.”

“The bacon is going to hit the table? What if it bounces someplace we can’t get to it? That would be horrible.”

“Huh? What?”

“We’d probably get blamed for it and then get hit with that broom again!”

“No Ralphie, it’s just an expression meaning that the bacon will be put onto the table. It’s not going to bounce anywhere until we knock it off the table.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now quiet down, I need to keep an eye on Lucille.”

“Oogie …”

“Shh, quiet Ralphie, I’m watching. What? Where’d she go?”

“Ha! Not so foolproof — again!”

“You’re not helping, Ralph!”

“Oogie …”

“Quiet Ralphie, I’m thinking …”

“Oogie …”

Ralphie, I’m …”

“Oogie, I found Lucille.”

“Huh? What? Where?”

“Look up at the ceiling.”

Oogie looked up at the kitchen ceiling and saw Lucille floating gracefully through the air in a sort of spiral pattern. She was clawing the air frantically trying to get right-side up but, she just continued to rotate over and over.

“Oogie, is this what you meant when you said your new foolproof plan was going to be completely different?”

A shrill wavering siren began to blare, and a swirling flashing red light lowered itself from the ceiling.

“That doesn’t sound good, Oogie.”

“It doesn’t look so good either. I think the space station gravity system is broken again.”

“The what? How do you know that?”

“Because we’re floating now too.”

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