Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan – Conclusion

Ralphie looked around and, sure enough, they were. And so was everything else in the room. Oogie was trying to swim through the air over toward the bacon but only got himself completely turned around and was about to bump into the wall, nose end first.

“Oogie, my stomach doesn’t feel so good!” complained Raph.

Lucille was now floating over toward Ralphie and Oogie, “Hey, this isn’t so bad once you get the hang of it.”

“Well, maybe not for you, Lucille, but we still haven’t gotten any bacon, and it looks like you’re going to miss out on the cream you wanted too.” said Oogie.

“Don’t be too sure about that Oogie, I have myself aimed right at it and will soon have all I want. You just need to get planted on one of the walls so that you can launch yourself toward what you want and the cream is just about mine.”

Lucille was approaching the cream and opening up her mouth to capture one of the floating globs of cream.

“Yummy!” she purred. “Now to get to the other wall and launch myself back for more.”

Oogie watched closely and then twisted himself around and tried to kick off the wall so that he would be aimed at one of the pieces of floating bacon. But he pushed off too hard and flew right past the piece he wanted. It was just out of his reach.

“Darn, I need to push off a little lighter.” he said to himself as he twisted around to get another shot at the bacon of his dreams.

He was just about to push off when Ralphie sailed by and snatched the piece he wanted.

“Mmm-hmm! Thish ish really good bacon, Oogie!” Ralphie said while chomping the delicious morsel down.

“I take it your stomach is doing better now, Ralph?”

“It sure is! That bacon really hit the spot!” Ralphie said with a chuckle.

“Whee! This is fun!” squealed Lucille as she shot by gobbling up another floating blob of cream.

“It sure is!” said Ralphie as he zoomed by and snatching pieces two and three out of the air.

Oogie took aim at the last piece of bacon and was careful not to push too hard this time. He had his aim just right and was just about to snatch it when the alarm stopped sounding, and the whirling lights retracted back into the ceiling. At the same time, things stopped floating in the air and headed straight for whatever was beneath them. The gravity was back on, and Oogie missed his mark and fell to the floor instead.

The last thing he saw was the bacon dropping alongside him and then…nothing.

When Oogie’s eyes opened again, the kitchen was a complete shambles with stuff scattered everywhere on the floor, table top and counters. His head was pounding, and his stomach was growling.

“Oogie, are you ok?” Ralphie asked.

“I think so, everything is a little blurry,” Oogie replied.

“Well, it’s good to know that a knock on the head just knocks you out and doesn’t kill you. I guess your head’s too hard for that.” Lucille said with a little laugh in her voice.

“I almost had that last piece of bacon too, darn!” moaned Oogie.

“Yeah, you came mighty close.” Lucille snickered.

“Yeah, Oogie, about that last piece…um.” said Ralphie almost under his breath.

“Where is it, Ralphie? You got the other three, where is the last one?”

“Umm … well, you see it was like this—”

“Like what? I saw it falling with me. I almost had it.”

Lucille started walking away and snickered. “I’ll just let you two sort this out. Bye, fellas! Call me the next time you have a big foolproof plan.”

“Ralphie?”

“Oogie, don’t get mad. It wasn’t my fault.”

Oogie stood up and moved close to Ralphie until they were almost nose to nose.

“What wasn’t your fault? Come on, Ralphie, where is that last piece of bacon?”

“It’s just that it landed … right … in … my … mouth. It was an accident!”

“What? How can a piece of bacon just land in your mouth?”

“Well, I sort of landed on top of you with my mouth up and – well – it just dropped right into my mouth. I—just—gobbled it down out of reflex. I’m sorry, Oogie.”

“Of all the bad luck …”

“Oh no, Oogie. This really was your best plan ever!”

Oogie just turned away and muttered to himself. “All my planning, down the drain. Gonna have to think of another plan now… Hmmm, that just might work!”

Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan – Part 2

“Say Oogie, you know what? I’m … I’m … gonna head … outside to look for that lost bone. I think it’s in the hydroponics lab,” said Ralphie heading out the pet door.

“Oh, come on Lucille, I was just explaining it to Ralphie in a way he would understand. You know he wasn’t the brightest pup in the litter.”

“Well, neither were you Oogie. So tell me, what’s in this for me if I decide to help you?”

“Uh, Lucille, I hadn’t really thought about that. What would you like?”

“It did occur to me that, in addition to bacon being on the table at breakfast time, they also put a pitcher of cream for their coffee. I’ll provide a distraction for you if you’ll also get that down for me. Do we have a deal?”

“Well, I don’t know …”

“Oogie, all you have to do is knock over the cream pitcher.”

“Um … um … I don’t know …”

“Oogie, all you have to do is knock over the cream pitcher. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Can Ralphie and I get a taste of the cream too?”

“Oh sure, you can grab some to go with the bacon. It’s a little hard to carry.”

“Oh … yeah … Ok, we’ll do it for you. Here’s the plan, first thing tomorrow morning …”

The next morning, Oogie and Ralphie headed to the kitchen just like they did every morning. But, Lucille was nowhere to be seen.

Ralphie looked at Oogie and said, “What do we do if she doesn’t show?”

“We go back to our first plan and just hope we’re fast enough to get away with it …”

“I hope so because that bacon smells really good and it’s makin’ me extra hungry … but …”

“But what?”

“I keep thinking about that broom over there. I got spots that still hurt.”

“Oh look, Ralphie, there she is. It’s showtime as soon as that bacon hits the table.”

“The bacon is going to hit the table? What if it bounces someplace we can’t get to it? That would be horrible.”

“Huh? What?”

“We’d probably get blamed for it and then get hit with that broom again!”

“No Ralphie, it’s just an expression meaning that the bacon will be put onto the table. It’s not going to bounce anywhere until we knock it off the table.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now quiet down, I need to keep an eye on Lucille.”

“Oogie …”

“Shh, quiet Ralphie, I’m watching. What? Where’d she go?”

“Ha! Not so foolproof — again!”

“You’re not helping, Ralph!”

“Oogie …”

“Quiet Ralphie, I’m thinking …”

“Oogie …”

Ralphie, I’m …”

“Oogie, I found Lucille.”

“Huh? What? Where?”

“Look up at the ceiling.”

Oogie looked up at the kitchen ceiling and saw Lucille floating gracefully through the air in a sort of spiral pattern. She was clawing the air frantically trying to get right-side up but, she just continued to rotate over and over.

“Oogie, is this what you meant when you said your new foolproof plan was going to be completely different?”

A shrill wavering siren began to blare, and a swirling flashing red light lowered itself from the ceiling.

“That doesn’t sound good, Oogie.”

“It doesn’t look so good either. I think the space station gravity system is broken again.”

“The what? How do you know that?”

“Because we’re floating now too.”

Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan – Part 1

Oogie’s New Foolproof Plan

“Oogie, are you sure this is gonna work? Your last idea landed us in the doghouse for a solid week.”

“Ralphie, we’re dogs, we always sleep in the doghouse.”

“Yeah, but it’s worse when they put you on half rations.”

“Oh Ralphie, forget all that. This is the best plan I had ever had. It is foolproof. It…is…stupendous!”

“No way! Your last plan was foolproof too. I still have bruises from the broom swats.”

“That won’t happen this time. No brooms, no way!”

“Well, all right…but only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“So, how is this plan different? You scare me when you get this excited about one of your plans ‘cause I’m always the one that gets hurt.”

“That won’t happen this time. No way!”

“Ok, you said that already. What is this foolproof plan, Mr. Big Brains?”

“Last time we went after the bacon too soon.”

“Too soon?”

“Yes, too so. We tried to get it from that pan on the stove. We knocked it over, and bacon grease went flying everywhere.”

“Everywhere but our mouths. Most of it landed on the floor.”

“Uh, yeah. So when we did get the bacon, we couldn’t get away with it because of the grease all over the floor too. It was too slippery. We got caught.”

We knocked it over? Let’s get that part straight right now. You knocked it over!”

“Ok, ok, I knocked it over, but you were supposed to grab it and run away with it.”

“Oh yeah, I was just supposed to grab it before it hit the floor. But, it turned out to be impossible with that pan flying straight at me.”

“I suppose my aim could have been a little better.”

“Yeah, and that grease was hot too! I nearly got splattered with it, after I dodged the pan. Then, when I did grab the bacon, I couldn’t get any traction on the floor because of the grease… And then…there was the broom. Ewww! It makes me shiver all over just to think about it.”

“Never mind all that. This time it’s going to be completely different.”

“Ok, maybe. How?”

“I got it all figured out.”

“You do, huh?”

“Yeah, think about it. What happens to the bacon after they cook it?”

“Doh! They eat it!”

“Slow down speedy brain. What happens to it before that?”

“I dunno. They just put it on a plate and eat it. That’s all.”

“That’s right. What happens after they put it on the plate and before they eat it? Think!”

“Hmmm…it sits and cools off while they get the rest of their breakfast ready?”

“Exactly. And we need to get to it while they are distracted with the eggs, toast, juice and coffee.”

“Hey! That’s right! That plan could…wait a minute. How are we going to get it off the plate without being noticed?”

“Heh heh heh! That’s the fun part. We use the cat for a diversion. I’m a genius! That’s what I am, a gen-ee-us!”

“Hold on just a minute, Mister Genius! How are we going to get Lucille to go along with helping us? Her whole mission in life is to make us miserable.”

“That right, and so we play a little trick on her, and she plays right into our plan without even knowing it.”

“Oh, we are huh? And just how will we do that Mr. Genius?”

“Yes, just how were planning on doing that Oogie?” came a feline voice from the kitchen counter above Oogie.

“Huh? Oh hi, Lucille! How is my favorite feline?”

“Don’t even bother trying to be nice to me, Oogie. I know how you feel. I overheard you trying to set me up for the blame on your next bacon caper.”